Adoptive Parenting
Check out some of Pact’s most timely and popular publications. For permission to reprint or repost, please contact Beth Hall at beth@pactadopt.org.
by Pact Staff When considering adoption, prospective parents are asked almost immediately to a make decision about whether they are seeking an open or closed adoption. Making parenting decisions before you become a parent can be challenging, particularly when they...
by Mary Martin Mason 1993 For several years my son's birth mother, my husband and I grappled with the best time to tell Josh that he has a half-brother. Josh's birth father has chosen not to participate in our arrangement of open adoption, and Josh's half-brother is...
by Beth Hall 2018 Why adoptive parents need to talk about birth/first parents Birth parents are surely the least understood and most often villified members of the adoption triad.[1] Outsiders to the experience of adoption will often recommend that it is best to...
In school, children study more than reading and math; they learn how the world operates beyond their own homes. If they are lucky they are taught to search for commonality and to appreciate difference in their classmates and then in their wider community. One way that...
by Beth Hall 2018 Speaking from experience My parents loved to tell the story. They would describe the two ways children could come into the family: through birth and through adoption. In the end, it was me—the non-adopted sibling—and not Barbara, who burst into...
by Lisa L. Moore, LICSW, PhD 2022 Full disclosure: Writing about adoption from the position of being an adoptive parent is new for me. I find the experience of producing my own narrative around adoption from this position to be one that challenges me for two reasons....
by Rebecca Weller 2010 Rituals to mark and heighten a child’s transition from family of birth to family of adoption can be personal and highly moving. Here are excerpts from the entrustment ceremony for my son Elijah. Using ritual and symbol to acknowledge and share...
updated 2024 Understanding Adoption Stories: Candle Ceremony Ritual can play an important role in helping children (and adults) address and express unspoken feelings. The folks at FAIR (Families Adopting in Response) developed a beautiful ritual for adopted children...
by Beth Hall 2009 To prepare: To provide a person with the necessary equipment for an expedition or journey, to defend, to guard, to keep, to look after, to care for, to shield, to shelter or to watch over. To protect: To prevent somebody or something from being...
2019 Adoptive parents of color are often told that just being the same race as their child is enough. As adoptive parents ourselves, we know that it takes more than love and racial matching to support our children. We believe that by creating a foundation of trust,...
by Pat Irwin Johnston, MS 2011 Secrecy hides far more than what is private. A private garden may not be a secret garden; a private life is rarely a secret life. Conversely, secret diplomacy rarely concerns what is private, any more than do arrangements for a surprise...
by Beth Hall and Martha Rynberg 2012 One of the most popular themes in children’s movies is loss of parents, often followed by some variation on adoption. It is hard to think of a recent animated kid’s movie that doesn’t touch on these family themes. And that means...
by Beth Hall Originally published 2010, updated 2022 Sometimes, when pre-adoptive parents contact Pact to learn more about our placement services, they seem to view adoption as a process whereby they decide what makes them comfortable in terms of the child they want...
by Beth Hall Originally published 2011, updated 2022 This essay is adapted from my closing comments at Pact Family Camp. While I recognize that the Pact community includes adoptees, parents who have placed children for adoption, extended family members, adoption...
by Malaika Parker October 2021 Dear Fellow Black Parents: With the beautiful Uprisings of 2020 there is a newfound awareness of something most Black folks have always been aware of: White Supremacy exists (welcome to the party, y’all are real late). There has been a...
by Holly van Gulden 1995 “How do we tell our daughter she has an older brother living with their birth mother?” “The records state our son’s birth mother was raped. Should we tell him his birth father raped his birth mother?” “We wrote to the agency requesting more...
How to Be an Anti-Racist Adoptive Parent by Beth Hall, with Michele Rabkin August 2020 “The opposite of ‘racist’ isn’t ‘not racist.’ It’s ‘anti-racist’….There is no in-between safe space of ‘not racist.’” Ibram X. Kendi, How to Be an Antiracist As an adoption...
Alternative Altars: Honoring the Loss in Adoption by Martha Rynberg 2011 Loss and grief are embedded in the experience of adoption. Often this loss is made invisible by the tremendous joy that new parents feel. This joy can mask the grief adoptive parents have...
Book Review: Parenting as Adoptees edited by Adam Chau and Devin Ost-Vollmers reviewed by Marie-Claude Provencher 2013 My oldest and youngest children were both adopted, while my middle one was born to our family. As they are getting older, I have started wondering...
Book Review: Brothers and Sisters in Adoption: Helping Children Navigate Relationships When New Kids Join the Family by Arleta James reviewed by Allison Branscombe 2009 Brothers and Sisters in Adoption (Perspectives Press, 2009), by Arleta James, is aimed at parents...
by Jae Ran Kim Fall 2008 As an educator, social worker and adult adoptee, I search for ways to help adoptees, adoptive families, and those who interact with us better understand the nuances and complexities of our experiences. Ambiguous loss is a concept that provides...
Book Review Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew by Sherrie Eldridge reviewed by Pact Staff 2005 In Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew (Delta, 1999) Sherrie Eldridge does an excellent job of encapsulating...